In Challenging the status quo at workâa good post that you should read mostly for the excellent framework for how to challenge ideas in the workplaceâHebba Youssef writes:
Many of us never learn the valuable life skill of productive disagreement. You can thank your parents for that.Â
Many parents choose not to argue in front of their children for fear of impact. But itâs not the frequency of arguments that matters, itâs HOW respectfully the parents argue. It turns out productive arguments actually help flex the creative muscle and teach children to speak up with their ideas.Â
So if you didnât grow up in a family that openly handled conflict you may not like conflict or have the tools to handle conflict. It doesnât help that few workplaces teach employees how to productively challenge ideas or how to handle conflict.
My parents never had an argument in front of me and brother, and it made me really scared of conflict. My wife’s family was… quite the opposite. So one thing I have learned from her over the years that is important to remember is this: itâs not the public argument that matters, itâs how you publicly repair afterwards. Thatâs the part that teaches kids about healthy conflict.
Or, to quote Pink Floyd, âall we need to do is make sure we keep talking.â
